One Hell of an Epic Fail
by The shadow flower ninja
Summary: Ciel Phantomhive made a deal with the devil for the servitude of his top demon but instead of the best what he got was it's younger brother. Meet the new and improved Sebastian Michaelis- The worlds worst butler! Rated M because I don't trust myself.
1. His young master, gypped

**To hocked up on red-bull to sleep yet to bored to watch TV- the prefect time to write in my book.**

**This came to me one time when I was watching a Kuroshitsuji parody on youtube, though I don't know why. I just thought:**

**"Hum, I wonder what it would be like if Sebastian wasn't the cool and suave butler that he is. What if all the cases and adventures they went on only happened by complete and utter accident?" And thus this story was born!**

**It's too long to put in one chapter so I'm going to split it up into parts, how many I'm not sure of yet.**

**Enjoy everybody~!**

I **DON'T OWN KUROSHITSUJI!**

* * *

"It seems that I have won," came a small but proud voice. There was nothing but black as far as the eyes could see. Suddenly however, the darkness gave out in one spot and in it's place a hazy and unrecognizable figure slowly morphed into the shape of a small and frail child. The child was dirty and injured, having horribly dirty clothes and bruised and battered body. The clothes were ripped and far too big for his small frame, while his body was covered in cuts and bruises, along with both having some blood and other strange substances caked on. It was a gruesome and truly miserable sight to behold, but despite this appearance, the child didn't see distress in the slightest. In fact, there was a small, strangely victorious smile, gracing his dirty face.

"**Fine child, name your prize**," boomed a deep baritone that seemed to come from no where and everywhere at the same time. The boy opened his eyes, revealing a deep rich cobalt blue, they were a lit with a vengeful scorn, right down to the boy's very core.

"I want revenge, I want to make all who made me suffer and humiliated me pay." The boy said heatedly, the darkness only chuckled at the boy's conviction, almost as if it were mocking him.

"**I suppose you want a contract with a demon then I suppose? Fine, you may have any that you ask for, but choose wisely for you will not get to choose again, Ciel Phantomhive."**

"I want the best one you have," the boy now known as Ciel demanded. There was a certain tension in the air as the pause in dialogue stretched uncomfortably between the shadow and the boy. The darkness seemed to swirl and shake, almost in a...sheepish sort of way, much like how a boy trying to find a way to get out of trouble without his parents knowing he had been in trouble in the first place kind of way.

"...**That I am afraid, is not possible at the moment,**" the shadow said slowly. Testing the water's known as the boy's patience.

"Why not? You said I could have any I wanted, and you lost, so now it's time for you to pay up!" Ciel growled sharply, tired of this monster's game.

"**My best demon is currently on a contract right now, he will not be ready to take another for at least another ten years.**" The shadow informed dryly.

"Can't you revoke the other contract?" Ciel asked clamly, now was not the time to lose his cool, especially not in front of this creature.

**"No, the demon needs to feed, if I recall, he hasn't eaten in the last three decades. A demon can go only so long without feeding before they turn to dust."** After a short pause the demon continued,**"I can however, give you the brother of my best, he's not quite as good, but, I believe that he will do for you request."**

"Fine," Ciel sighed, something was better than nothing at all, right?

Besides, even if he didn't get the best, he got the next best thing right?

Yet as the darkness gave way in a flurry of black feathers, leaving a lone figure in it's place; Ciel had the strangest feeling that he was making what his father used call a: " Bad choice in employment."

He would soon figure out that, **_no one_** gets a good deal when they win a bet with the devil himself; and that **no one** beats the devil.

* * *

" Young master, it is time for you to awake now," came a quiet voice. A tall broad figure of a man was pulling a massive blue velvet curtain back as a small lump under the covers of a king sized bed started to move.

"Uhh, five more minutes," the lump commanded. The man sighed as he continued to fix the curtain, never once turning to face his young master.

"Young master, you have a schedule to keep, you can't just laze the day away by-"

-KABOOM!-

The tall man turned towards the sound of the explosion, revealing himself to be an aged man of about fifty or sixty. The elder man chuckled in good humor. "Sebastian sure has something cooking up today!" He laughed while going towards the cloth lump.

"Don't remind me," the lump groaned while pulling the sheet away revealing the boy known as Ciel Phantomhive, but slightly different from before. He had grown taller and his face lost some of it's baby fat, yet the biggest change would have to be his eyes, the one that could be seen was now cold and hard as colbalt, while the other could not be seen as a black eye patch covered it from view.

"Dress me quickly Tanaka, I have a feeling that I'm going to need all the time I can get today," Ciel ordered as he stated to get out of bed.

"Yes, my lord."

* * *

"SEBASTIAN!" Roared a man in clothes that resembled a chef's attire at a man dressed in all black, the clothes of a butler. The Chef had dirty blond hair and blue eyes and was relatively tall with a muscular build, much too muscular to be just a chef only. This man used to be a solider before his job at the Phantomhive manor, a pretty damn good one at that to. He could have made general had he stuck with it, however, it was due to his need to follow his passion for cooking that led him to ultimately discharge from the army.

Oh, and his entire platoon died had a small contribution to it as well, but it was mostly the need to cook that swayed him.

His counterpart, the butler in all black was a man- er boy? No, no definitely a man, though a small one- with shaggy brown hair and bright green eyes. He was slender and quite lanky compared to the chef, so it was quite hard to believe that he was already twenty-one, he hardly even looked eighteen! His butler attire was all black and elegant looking, however there where some places that seemed a bit too big for the small man and others just a bit too small. He gave off a sloppy feeling, with his crooked tie, untucked in shirt along with slight bed head. However he stood with perfect posture and a polite, neutral look graced his pretty face, giving the image of a person of high society.

Both where currently in the kitchen of the Phantomhive manor, or what was left of it anyways, surveying the damage. There was smoke all around them as well as the charred remains of pots and a pans, there was also the strangest purple liquid on the ceiling that gave off the most unusual of sents... The Chef glared at the butler in black, who stared quizzically at the soot covered stove.

"I don't understand, I put the meat in as I always do," the man now known as Sebastian said thoughtfully.

"That's just it!" the chef-like man snapped,"you always do this. I would be surprised if you didn't end up blowing up something or burning it to ashes!"

"That's preposterous and slanderous! I'll have you know that I never once burned anything." The offended brown haired man huffed.

"That's because there's nothing left to burn after your through with it," the chef muttered under his breath.

"What was that Bard?" Sebastian glared.

"Nothing!" Bard said quickly before looking at the charred spot where the breakfast that _**he**_ made use to be. "I guess we'll just have to start from scratch. Can you go help Maylene set the table? It'll only take me a couple of minutes to make something suitable for the young master." he sighed.

"I suppose." Sebastian allowed before heading towards the dinning hall. He didn't particularly like having been order around by _Bard_ of all people, but he really wasn't in the position to argue about it now either. He walked with his head held high out of the kitchen, pointedly ignoring Bard's mutter of: "He's Maylene's problem now."

Sebastian relocated to a grand hall that had a massive table right in the middle of it. He watched as a red-haired female put a freshly pressed and smoothed table cloth on the table while a trolley of silverware sat off to the left of her. Sebastian walked over to the trolley and picked up a spoon. He stared at the spoon for a bit before looking at the table, then back a the spoon, then the table once more; he looked at the spoon one last time before making his decision. He promptly shoved the spoon in a vase almost overflowing with white lilies, making sure that the spoon would be notice frist.

"That's better," he confirmed, looking pleased with himself.

"Ah, what are you doing Mr. Sebastian!" the red haired maid shrieked. "That's the master's favorite spoon, you know he doesn't eat anything without it!" She panicked grabbing the spoon out of the vase and quickly heading over to a basen filled with water.

"That's the point, now he can look at it every time he eats. He won't be without it during meals ever again." The red haired maid sighed quietly under her breath as she rinsed the spoon. After she found it to be as clean as possible, she set it right next to a fancy plate as well as some other implements that the young master would probably need for brakefeast.

"Mr. Sebastian, I forgot to get a bowl from the pantry, could you go and get it for me? Oh, and while your at it, there is a new case of flowers that the Master wants planted in the front of the yard today, could you get to that before noon?" Sebastian nodded, walking rhythmically out of the dinning hall, ignoring the huge breath of relief that the maid made.

He calmly walked down the hallway, head held high, just as a fully dress Ciel and Tanaka were coming downstairs.

"Good morning young master!" Sebastian chirped merrily, Ciel only gave a grunt in response, walking right pass him, Sebastian deflated slightly at being brushed off. Tanaka however, stopped and greeted his fellow butler, his aged face crinkled into a smile.

"Ah, good morning Sebastian, how are you doing today?" Sebastian perked right back up as he straighten himself to his proper butler form.

"Just fine, and of you, how are you feeling today Tanaka?" The older butler laughed quietly as he patted the other's shoulder.

"Well I'm no longer the spring chicken that I once was during my youth, but I still got it!" Sebastian smiled lightly, Tanaka really was the prime example of a world-class butler, every thing he did turned out brilliantly! No matter what the circumstance or how bad things seemed, Tanaka manged to turn everything in his favor-

a lot like a certain **_someone _**from the past...

"Sebastian? Sebastian? Are you alright lad?" '_Sebastian'_ snapped out of his wondering immediately before he remembered _too_ much, now was not the time for this sort of thing, he had work to do!

"Forgive me Tanaka, I was just musing to myself, if you would excuse me, I must prepare for tonight's social event."

"Ah yes, I must do so as well," Tanaka checked his watch, most likely utilizing his time. "I must be off, I'll leave the gardening to you, but do try not to work too hard this time, okay?" Sebastian nodded and bowed as Tanaka left. He then proceeded to the lawn, which looked dazzling as an array of flowers and plants where placed expertly in the right places.

Some say that the garden of the Phantomhive manor was able to compete with her majesty, the queen's own private one in Buckingham palace! The lawn was perfect and healthy without a blade of grass out of place, the gardens were overflowing with an abundance of flowers of many different colors, mostly arraying whites and blues with the occasional oranges and yellow now and then, and the bushes this time of year were blooming beautifully with little white flowers. It gave the manor a graceful yet inviting glow. Merchants all over England jumped at the chance to pass by the manor during the spring when all the flowers were in bloom. Many people wondered how such a garden could thrive so well when the master of the house only had five servants in total. There was just no way they could tend to the gardens so carefully, while at the same time, keep up with the house-hold duties.

Some say that the grounds were blessed by angels while others would say that it was cursed by how tragically it's past occupants died. However most seasoned gardeners would agree that it wasn't solely the ground that made the garden but more like the gardener himself, Sebastian.

...

...

...

You're right, I don't believe it either, but it's true!

Sebastian was a pretty useless butler, almost everyone who met the man could have told you that, but only a few knew of Sebastian's gift of gardening. It had been by complete and utter accident that Ciel himself stumbled upon his newest butler's talent, but as soon as he found out, he left all of the gardening to the black butler, who was more than happy to comply. Sebastian loved flowers, they were the surface world's greatest wonder in his opinion. They came in so many different colors and gave off the most unusual odors! Yet they were so frail and easy to crush, he had to be careful and treat them gently, he learned that the hard way once when he unintentionally set the whole ground on fire...

Anyway back to the current topic, Sebastian's strangely uncanny talent for gardening-

"Meow~" Sebastian froze like a deer caught in headlights. His demon sense of hearing, which was far more superior to that of a human's, perk up at the sound of that cry. There was a rattling sound in the bushes, Sebastian took a hesitant step towards it, it just couldn't be!

"Meow~" A tiny black cat emerged from the bushes and headed straight for Sebastian, who just stood there. As the cat got closer the 'butler' paled, his already shiny white skin was getting an unhealthy look to it. The cat rubbed against his pant leg affectionately, it was only then that Sebastian snapped back to life and reacted-

"AH! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU VILE BEAST!" The butler made a rather embarrassing squeal as he started to violently shake the cat off of his leg, the poor creature was so shocked that it only held tighter to the butler's pant-leg, digging it's tiny claws into the fabric and eventually the skin. This only fueled the butler's panic attack, his movement became more frantic and spastic.

"OFF I SAY, _OFF_! I** KNOW** YOU UNDERSTAND ME YOU GHASTLY CREATURE, RELEASE ME AT ONCE!"

"What in the world is going on out here! ?" It was then that the cat flew off of the butler's leg and landed right on to the head of a certain Phantomhive heir. Sebastian' green eyes became wide as saucers as he quickly rushed to his master's aid.

"Don't worry master I'll remove that _horrid_ beast!" Sebastian picked up a nearby broom and hoisted it well above his head. Ciel saw this and tried to run away from the manic butler, but Sebastian kept right on his heels as he chased after the boy with the broom.

"Get away from me you bloody idiot!_** Tanaka**_!" Ciel made a rather unappealing (but still dignified mind you), scream as the broom flew past him, barely missing him by an inch; it instead, slammed into a marble statue, knocking the head clean off of it. This only caused the poor boy to run faster in his desperate escape, but he soon ran out of wind, huffing and clutching his sides, the butler used this to his advantage as he cornered the boy by a bush.

"Hold still master, I'll have that cat off of you in a second!" The Black Butler pulled out his trusty secret weapon- a rake- and swung right at the poor boy's face, which now held the cat on it. Ciel braced himself for the oncoming blow that never came.

Suddenly the cat was softly pulled from his face, revealing Tanaka and a now unconscious Sebastian, sporting a rather large bump on his head and a bent rake laying off to the side.

"Hohoho, things sure do get lively around here when a _guest_ arrives unexpectedly don't they Master Ciel?" The season butler joked as he softly petted the tiny creature's head, Ciel huffed at the small jibe coming from Tanaka and stood up to straighten himself, casting a rather displeased glance at his unconscious slave.

"Honestly, he reacts like this every time he sees a cat! Even I don't make that big of a fuss and I'm allergic to the bloody thing! That pansy."

"Now master, be reasonable. He did have quite the traumatic experience with cats once remember? If memory serves me correctly, it was all because of a **_certain misbehaving young_** _**master**_ that he accumulated such fear in the first place."

"I haven't the slightest clue on what you're referring to." Ciel huffed, looking away from the man's knowing gaze.

"You reap what you sow Master, that's all I am merely saying." Tanaka smiled with a amused twinkle in his eyes. He looked back at the still comatose butler and hoisted him up into his arms.

"It's almost impossible to believe that he once used to adore them." Tanaka sighed, then laughed fondly as he walked back to the manor with the other still in his arms, "I can still recall a time where he would bring them in from the rain and hide them in his room."

"-** Against **my orders I might add," Ciel muttered as he walked ahead of them.

"Hohoho, but it was quite cute to see him so lively with that fascinated look in his eyes, it was like he never saw a cat in his whole life! Even you couldn't resist when he first begged you to let him keep one."

"Only because he wouldn't leave me alone about it, he wouldn't let go of my leg for a whole day!" Ciel snapped exasperatedly, recalling Sebastian's 'kicked-puppy' look as he begged while Ciel had to drag himself to a meeting with Sebastian still attached to his leg.

"He's just like a child sometimes, don't you think so master?" Tanaka laughed as he and the young master made their way back inside the manor.

* * *

**Trying to get back to a happy place in life one chapter at a time~**

**This was in the back of my mind for a while, I finally decided to write it after being too stressed out and frustrated to study. I needed something to take my mind off of finals, which starts today, and help put the pep back in my step. I really shouldn't be so flighty with my stores but I can't help it!**

**Ah plot bunny, you're a fickle mistress indeed.**

**Well, I hoped you guys at least got a little chuckle in, I'm having trouble telling what's funny and what's not nowadays. Collages really sucks the soul out of you sometimes...**

**See you next time~**


	2. His brother, a hussy

**Wow, this was probably the quickest I've ever updated anything in ever! I feel little bit accomplished, though I still have more studying to do, and more finals to fail. -_-'**

**Enjoy everybody~**

**I DON'T OWN KUROSHITSUJI!**

* * *

"Now just rest here for a bit, alright Sebastian?"

"I assure you that I am completely fine, I do not need to rest. We have a guest coming do we not? I have to help prepare-" Sebastian began to protest before the elderly man cut him off calmly.

"I'm sure we can mange by ourselves, I'll just have Finny finish up in the garden, you just rest up a bit, you have a rather nasty bump on your head after all." Tanaka assured his fellow butler, patting him on the head before making his way out of Sebastian's room and back to his own butler duties.

Sebastian sighed, two years have passed and he still hasn't gotten the hang of the strange mannerisms of the upper world.

Sebastian-no, **Felicitas** was never good with new experiences, not at all like his older tiwn, **Fatin.**

Felicitas got a horrid taste in his mouth at the thought of his elder twin, Fatin made everything look easy and was always the apple of mother's eye, it had been that way since they'd hatched. Fatin was a demon of lust -like mother- while Felicitas himself, took after their father, a demon of sloth. It was natural that Fatin would be the more active of the two, however there were times that even Felicitas got irritated at how his own accomplishments always seemed to get overshadowed by Fatin's.

When Felicitas learned to tolerate the harsh pure air of the upper world, Fatin learned to shape-shift and was already starting to live among their prey.

When Felicitas learned to shape-shift, Fatin learned to communicate properly with them and began his first contract.

When Felicitas completed his first contract and brought back his first human soul, Fatin brought three souls simultaneously without so much as a deal!

Felicitas hated that he was seen as the lessor of the two when according to demon lore, he and Fatin were to be of equal strength, he thought that he'd never be able to beat his brother at anything, until now-

Ciel Phantomhive, a soul that was tainted with hatred and vengeful thoughts, yet still completely untouched by man's more harsher sins. A soul that was both pure and tainted at the same time, any demon's ideal soul rolled up in an adorable_ young lord_ package.

Felicitas chuckled darkly, recalling the look on Fatin's face when he learned of the contract...

* * *

_"Felicitas, Lord Satan has summoned you, get ready immediately and do not keep him waiting," commanded a woman-like creature, with long black hair and horns, that had wings for hands. A figure that also had winged hands yet had a brownish tint to them emerged, shaking its feathers of some strange liquid._

_"...Yes mother," it said reluctantly as it slowly made its way to the window and the meeting point._

_"Fatin will meet you there and accompany you home, don't slow him down, he's only here for a small time before he has to go back for his contract." The small bird-thing sighed quietly, not liking the idea of being accompanied home by 'Fatin' in the slightest._

_"...Yes mother," it said one last time before it jumped out the window and flew away._

_**'Why does Fatin have to accompany me home, I'm not a hatchling!'** The bird complained to itself. Fatin was starting to always make Felicitas nervous nowadays, given, it had been like that since they reached maturity, but it was starting to become more over-powering these past couple centuries. Fatin was a demon of lust, so it was only natural that he would be seductive in every sense of the word, Felicitas understood this of course- but what bothered him was the fact that Fatin felt the need to 'practice his moves' on Felicitas._

_Felicitas** hated** when his twin came out of nowhere and held him for no reason other than to make him squirm._

_Felicitas downright** despised** it when his twin whispered sweet things to him just to see if he would chirp like a mere hatchling!_

_-But, what made it all the more dreadful was that his twin wasn't quiet about it either!_

_The shameless hussy showed off to mother every chance he got! It got to the point where even mother started to tease that the two should mate, giving Fatin that much more material to irk Felicitas with._

**_"At least you won't have to worry about surviving on your own dear, Fatin will be a good provider towards you and your hatchlings~"_**

_Felicitas grudgingly admitted that he was not so good with contracts and the human needs that came with it, he was awkward and not so smooth, he was a demon of sloth after all, he just couldn't help it! It didn't help that he was smaller than most male demons either..._

_It had always been like that, ever since he was born. In fact, when he hatched mother had mistaken him for a female because he was just so tiny and feminine! It only got worse, in his opinion, as he grew._

_Felicitas knew that he was what demons considered to be 'pretty'. It wasn't surprising considering that his mother was one of hell's most gorgeous lust demons. He had often been courted by peers, both male and female alike. It irked him to no end to know that most only approached him with the thought of mating in mind. He hated it when friends would come over and offer him gifts, like souls and severed heads or when they would touch him far too much for his liking._

_Most of them seemed to all but vanish after Felicitas rejected their advances. However there were rare occasions that someone would stay even after being rejected, but even that didn't last very long for then that would cause Fatin to begin to act a little strange, well** stranger** than usual._

_During the few times he was home and Felicitas had company Fatin would cling to Felicitas, setting him on his lap or showering him with too much affection in front of them. It was like he mocking them by freely touching what they couldn't have, which he probably was, much to Felicitas' displeasure. It usually ended horribly, with the friend leaving with their tail between their legs, never to be seen again-_

_All the while Fatin stood tall and proud, marveling at his self-proclaimed 'victory' at having chase away yet another of Felicitas' would-be suitors._

_It always stung when they left, not a single one of them seemed to want to be his friend simply because they liked him for him and not for his features..._

_Felicitas sometimes wished that hell followed the ways of the surface world more. In hell, gender did not matter, not like up in the surface world, a demon could produce with whoever struck their fancy at the time._

_It was rare that demons picked only one partner, almost unheard of, but it did happen. Mother and father were a good example of that, Felicitas himself never met his father, but from what he heard of people who knew him, he was a great demon, charismatic for a sloth. He had also been told that it was his father who he inherited his strange green colored eyes from, those green eyes happened to be what lured his mother in and kept her there for nearly eons..._

_However, the eyes where the only thing he inherited, all the rest was purely his mother._

_Fatin was a different story, the only thing he got from mother were her eyes, while the rest of his features were father's. Even the famed charisma father was so known for seemed to rub off on Fatin as he could easily woo even the most prude of demons into doing whatever he wished them to!_

_These traits were what helped Fatin quickly climb Hell's social ladder, making him a respected and some times feared member of hell's grand counsel. He was right up there with** that man,** the one who devoured all of hell's mysteries, **the king of the puzzle eaters (1).**_

_In short, Fatin and Felicitas were polar opposites, they didn't even look same! Fatin was a prime example of a demon while Felicitas was-_

_Well..._

_He was lazy and tiny, in his mother's words, he was more suited to being the 'wife' than the 'husband'. A fact that Fatin didn't miss, Fatin always made it his mission to remind Felicitas that he wasn't good at collecting souls and that Fatin himself was obviously better at everything he did!_

_**'Not much I can do about it now, I might as well get this over with now than later.'** Felicitas thought tiredly as he swooped down in front of a black castle. Two guards stood in front of the doors, both hulking with the heads of bulls, the young sloth demon walked carefully towards them._

_"Our lord has been expecting you, mind yourself and be grateful you have gotten a shred of his attention, sloth." One of them snarled, Felicitas nodded solemnly, the Minotaurs grunted approval, moving out of the way while opening the doors._

_"Be quick and don't touch anything!" Was the last thing Felicitas heard of the two as the doors closed with a mighty slam. The sloth demon proceed to the audience hall quickly, the sooner he got done and left meant less time his annoying brother could tease and mess with him-_

_"My, My~ If it isn't my pretty brother Feli~"_

_**'Speak of it, and evil shall come running.'** Felicitas thought exasperatedly as a pair of black wing-like arms wrapped around him, pulling him towards a broad chest._

_"It's Felicitas, and let go of me you fool, this isn't the time or the place for your idiotic games Fatin!" The sloth demon hissed as he yanked himself out of his brother's arms. The lust demon chuckled, fixing his clothes that got slightly rumpled during the exchange._

_"Says the one who looks like he just got out of bed," he teased as he started to mat down the other's feathers that stuck up haphazardly._

_"I can do this myself, stop touching me!" This time Felicitas started to swat at the bigger demon who merely stood there unaffected. Felicitas glared at those amused crimson orbs and that smug smirk, getting ready to lash out at him and teach him a lesson once and for all-_

_"What are you two doing?" A dark voice that sent chills down the spine demanded, Felicitas turned to see Lucifer staring at them with a displeased frown marring his surprisingly beautiful face. Felicitas immediately dropped to his knees, bowing lowly to the king of darkness._

_"My most Unholy Lord," he greeted nervously, silently cursing his brother for embarrassing him in such a way._

_"Rise young sloth, I have a request to make of you." The king of Hell commanded blandly, lacking the usual flare and dominance that he always held in his tone. A fact that Felicitas did not miss as he looked at the devil in question, what could be so bad that had even Satan disturbed?_

_"I have a contract for you, a big one." Felicitas' eyes widened, a big contract- for him! ?_

_"R-Really my lord? !" A big contract meant more time on the surface world, something that every demon strove for, the upper world was such interesting place with its life forms and their customs, always different! Much more exciting than the dark, dreary and un-changing underworld and its people._

_"Yes I have need for you, well more believably, I need you to fulfill an agreement between myself and a human.__" The devil explained, Felicitas looked curiously while Fatin narrowed his eyes in suspicion, already having some sort of clue as to what was going on._

_"What sort of agreement is that my lord?" Felicitas asked hesitantly, fearing that this trip to the surface world might be too good to be true. Lucifer gave a guff grunt as he shifted about irritably, seemingly annoyed, possibly even angered._

_"I have promised this human a contract with the most successful demon in hell, your brother, however he is still currently obligated to another and cannot preform this task. To avoid any complication I convinced this human to take up a contract with you instead. You shall go to the surface world and serve this human as you would any other contract, however I must warn you that this not like any other. This human is...Special for better word, his name is Ciel Phantomhive, of England." Felicitas grinned gleefully, showing his fangs as an image of a young boy with eyes the color of blue gems appeared before him._

_"Be warned young sloth, this boy seeks something that may be connected with an angelic cult. It will be a difficult and long task to accomplish." The sloth when rigged at the shocking information, holding back a gulp as a lump formed in his throat._

_ Angels could be involved?_

_Angels, those self-righteous hypocrites that didn't even bat an eye lash as they slaughtered demon after demon? Felicitas had never seen one in his three centuries of life, but he heard many things of them, how they stole food from the mouths of young demons, how the tortured demons just for the fun of it, even how they the shamed and humiliated them every chance they got before killing them slowly and painfully. Angels where beings that any sane demon would be wary of fighting, they would not think twice about killing anything they some much as thought was evil._

_"If I may have a word my lord," Felicitas' worried thinking was cut off by the tone of Fatin's voice. He glanced up at his brother's face to see a sort of look that he never thought he would ever see on his brother's face. Instead of the usual cocky and arrogant smirk, there was a displeased, almost downright rueful, frown marring his face._

_"What is it, lust demon Fatin?" The devil asked irritably, most likely knowing what he wanted going by how displeased he appeared._

_"Are you sure that Feli should be the one to fulfill this mission? There are plenty of other demons that could probably get the job done better in half the time it would take Feli. Why just at the last court meeting, did **that man** not say he wanted to-?"_

_"I refuse to give Neuro any chance to wreck havoc upon the upper world. He's too wild, he won't abide by the surface laws, I can already see those accursed Arc-angels chomping at the bit at the chance to destroy more of our brethren. Felicitas is the best choice we have right now, it will be him or none at all!" The devil hissed in finality, Fatin could only sigh wearily. The devil word was law, no one but he could ever change it.._

_"When shall I head out my lord?" Felicitas asked excitedly, his spirit not dampened in the slightest, angels or not, the surface world was a far too great an opportunity to past up, let alone the soul of this 'Ciel Phantomhive'. _

_The boy look absolutely mouthwatering, with such sad and broken eyes just filled to the brim with despair! Felicitas always favored the taste of__ despair, it was more bitter than anger yet sweeter than regret. Just the prefect combination of emotions that kept Felicitas full for a good while. _

_Telling by how Ciel Phantomhive looked, he would keep Felicitas full for a** long time.**_

_"You shall set out as soon as possible, gather all that you will need and leave quickly. You will have a lot of ground to cover with this one." Lucifer declared, vanishing in a puff of black flames.  
_

_Felicitas hummed in delight, walking out of the dark castle with his head held high. He would be going to the surface, and what's more, the soul he would be getting was far more superior to the scraggly sickly ones that demons of his class were use to getting!_

_"Do calm yourself dear brother, your plumage is showing. Though that isn't entirely a bad thing from where I'm looking..." The demon of lust purred, stroking the ruffled feathers of the smaller's neck, sending far from pleasant shivers down the sloth's spine.  
_

_"I am in no mood for your sexual harassment Fatin, let us just return home so that I may prepare for my contract in peace." Felicitas snapped as he took to the sky with Fatin not to far behind._

_"...You know you really don't have to do this Feli," Fatin spoke as he caught up with his younger twin. Felicitas snorted, promptly ignoring Fatin as he focused on flying._

_"I mean it Feli, you don't have to do this, it's far too dangerous for you," Fatin tried again._

_"Even if I didn't have to I'd still do it, this soul is far too prime to give up." Felicitas insisted, looking at his brother with a annoyed look in his eyes._

_"If you want better souls then I could get you some, there is no need for you to risk your life for something like this-"_

_"I don't want your help and I certainly don't need your pity either! I am perfectly capable of collecting my own food!"_

_"-Yet it was originally intended for **me**, you and I are not the same. You can't handle this sort of thing on your own, you'll be angel feed before you come even **close** to finishing this contract. Dear Feli do not be so stubborn, let someone more qualified handle this-"_

_"Oh, forgive me for not knowing my place then **dear brother**, it was not my intention to cause you even more unnecessary envy just because this time **I** will be the one with the bigger haul. I hope you can forgive this lowly sloth for trying to rise above it's humble standing." Felicitas said coldly, ignoring the slight sting in his chest at having been talked down to by his **twin**._

_"I am not doing this out of envy you foolish creature! I am merely concerned for your safety, maybe you would see that if you didn't act like a spoiled brat!"_

_"Maybe I wouldn't be a spoiled brat if you didn't always act like I have no sense at all Fatin! I am sick of you always looming over me, flaunting your accomplishment right in my face! If you have time to criticize me then you certainly have time to get back to your own contract and mind your own damn business for a change!" Felicitas snarled as he flew away faster, leaving his brother in the dust..._

* * *

Mother had not been happy to see that Felicitas had come back first without Fatin, but the young sloth hardly gave it second thought, choosing to head straight for his room and grab all that he needed for his trip. The soon he got out of there the better, he needed time away from hell and it's suffocating atmosphere.

It had nothing to do with the fact that he just didn't want to see Fatin before he left at all.

So it really didn't bother him when he came out to say his farewells to mother that Fatin was waiting for him right at the portal to the surface world. He pointedly ignored the frigged aura his brother was giving off, and bided his mother farewell, promising to return with the flowers she so adored. Looking back to see her grinning manically steeled his resolve.

But what really spurred him was the look on Fatin's face-

It was one of pure unmistakable** fury.**

Felicitas laughed humorously, in all the months that he had been here, he never once came across an angel. In fact, the only thing that made Felicitas nervous were Ciel's aunts and his betrothed and those accursed _cats_.

Though Felicitas was beginning to suspect that those things would make anyone quiver in their boots.

It seemed that all of the women in Ciel's family were at least some level of mentally unstable, and those vile felines were fiercer than any hell hound! Other than that, nothing really seemed too serious that not even a little demon magic couldn't solve it.

This not only proved that Felicitas wasn't in over his head but that all of Fatin's _worrying _had been for naught. Felicitas knew that he shouldn't get ahead of himself, but in all honesty, he really didn't feel that there was anything, besides the house work, that he couldn't handle. Sure there were the occasional Kidnappers, but they were all too easy to subdue, most just fainted at the sight of _Sebastian_ coming back to life from being shot multiple times.

Felicitas knew not to let his guard down, that there was still the chance that anything could happen, but for now-

_Sebastian_ could just sit back and let the tragic tale that was known as Ciel Phantomhive's life unfold.

* * *

**Aw, that's just sad, why can't you see that your brother truly cares about you Feli? T~T**

**By the way, I think in Latin-**

**_Fatin _meas charming or seductive  
**

**_Felicitas_ means luck or fortune.**

**I could be mistaken, so if I am, I am sorry! ****I carefully chose the names for these two, I wanted something that sounded evil, yet at the same time, kinda sexy.**

**1- I am a big fan of Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro, I just _had_ to include him somewhere!**

**Well, that's it for me tonight, actually it's more like morning now -_-.**

**I really gotta stop doing my writings so late at night!**

**Anyways, see you later lovelies~ **


End file.
